Ok, listen. I said a few posts back that I wasn't going to distrohop again after Gentoo, but I lied. I just purchased a new Stinkpad, and I am going to give GNU Guix System a shot.
It's an AMD machine, so there should be no need for any Nvidia hassle. In my mind, it will go smoothly!
I'm making a public statement to hold myself accountable -- I shall give Guix a fair try, attempt to make some contributions (if they'll have me!), and enjoy helping others in the community as a bit of a hobby that will live safely on its own hardware.
If it's really really bad, then I will just install FreeBSD or Debian, as promised.
OR....
Maybe I will just embrace doing computing "the olds cool" way and have everything broken, start smoking cigarettes at the keyboard, and doing a bit of online gambling!